I'm wondering how long it's going to take before I can stop bursting into full-fledged sobs every few hours. The montages that are now being put together by the news organizations really aren't helping me in that endeavor.I cannot even begin to imagine what the pain of those who have lost loved ones is like. I'm blessed to have all of mine safe, and my heart still feels as if it has been split into a million pieces, with no hope of recovery.
I've never in my life felt more sad, or more vulnerable. I've also never felt so acutely American.
Friday, September 14, 2001
Oh, this is great. As if it weren't bad enough that Ann Coulter thinks that we need to convert the terrorists to Christianity, now we have Jerry Falwell blaming the attacks on God's reaction to gays and liberals.
There are some amazing photos (not graphic) over at ultradio.com. Thanks to Kim of Fresh Hell (oh, how appropriate that name is this week!) for the link.
If you're so inclined, go outside and light a candle at 7 pm tonight. I hope the rain stops before then.
Thursday, September 13, 2001
I had intended on stopping at this store on my way home from work today, but that was made impossible by a wonderful and heartening thing -- as I approached the shopping center, I realized that the entrances were clogged with cars, and that at least 500 people were standing in line on each side of the store's doors.
I have my car flag (which garnered many smiles and waves and horn honks today), but I still want to get one for the house. Perhaps tomorrow.
So many people that I know are still searching for their loved ones. I'm trying hard not to give up hope.
Wednesday, September 12, 2001
There's nothing more that I can say right now. It's even sadder today with all of the people seeking their missing loved ones, most likely in vain. My heart goes out to all of those families and friends and other loved ones of the missing, the injured, the deceased.
And if it's true that the people on the PA flight did in fact attempt to take out the hijackers, I am completely in awe of your selfless heroism. God bless you all.
I saw an American flag on a car today and it made me cry. I asked Dave to bring me one tonight on his way home from a friend's, and it will fly from my car tomorrow.
If you pray, please pray for all of the missing and the dead, and those who are left behind. The sadness here is almost unbearable.
Well, it's the proverbial morning after. Dave's currently on the phone with his mom in Ireland, relaying details and urging her to remain there for at least a few days.
It doesn't make any more sense now than it did last night. I'm crying already, and I don't see that stopping any time soon.
I think that I should go to work, rather than sit here and watch more and more TV coverage.
Tuesday, September 11, 2001
We're still parked in front of the TV. I've so far spoken on the phone to PA and Sydney, and online to numerous other states and countries, letting everyone know that we're OK. Well, in body, anyway.
Dave's boss is still stuck in Manhattan; he lives only blocks from the WTC and isn't able to go home. My boss called and said that I can come in or not tomorrow; I think a lot of people will be using that type of discretion.
The pictures and the film and the stories only grow more and more horrible, and the NYC skyline is eerily and irrevocably wrong.
Dave's parents had already checked their bags at Shannon Airport in Ireland when all of this happened. Needless to say, they're not going to be returning to the United States today. I feel so, so sick, but at the same time, I'm so glad that they're OK.
The news is estimating that over 20,000 people died in lower Manhattan today. Jesus Christ.
I just got home from work. I cannot for the life of me believe that the World Trade Center towers are just gone. I could see the smoke from Route 80 as I was driving home.
Dave works just a few blocks from the WTC, and takes the PATH train to and from there every day. Thank God that he was still in the shower when the planes crashed this morning, and he just stayed home. I'm checking in with people from Dead Dotcom, and it seems that everyone is OK so far.
I feel like I got approximately a minute and a half of sleep last night, and it's a grey and craptacular morning, to boot. I'm forcing myself to go into the office early, so that I can split before 5:30 and come home and take a nap. I also feel like I might be getting a cold, but it could just be my suddenly-horrendous allergies instead. Apparently Dave redid Tiny Alien while I was attempting to sleep, and he's been lured to the dark side of the Blogger. It seems that after a lot of trial and error last night, I finally managed to get the archiving working, although having it on the front page is less than ideal. I need to move them...
I have yet another good thing to mention about PharmaCo -- no copay on my prescriptions if I order them through the mail, and the insurance company will take care of transferring all of my current prescriptions over to mail order for me. Huzzah!
It took me an hour and fifteen minutes to make the 15 mile trip home from work tonight. A little rain apparently impairs the ability of some NJ drivers to remember that the skinny pedal on the right helps you go.
Now it's thundering. I hope we get a big storm. This humidity just needs to go go go.
It's only 11:35 a.m. and my eyes are already closing. Cup of tea number two is on its way. At least I get a free lunch with my meeting this afternoon.
Apparently our web connection is flaky at best today, since I can't get to half of my normal sites on the net at all. I did get four boxes of office supplies this morning, though, so my files are no longer spread willy-nilly across all flat surfaces.
Ah, another icky, overcast morning. What do I have to look forward to today? A five-hour advertising review extravaganza. I'm starting the caffeine drip now.
When I see headlines like this, I can't help but think of The Onion.
Anyway, I think that we might have a leading contender in the house hunt. It's a two-family in the next town over, and it looks great from the outside. We've put a call in to our ultra-perky realtor to see how soon we can get in to see the inside. Then I did a huge load of laundry, and we watched the premiere of Band of Brothers. While I thought the show was well done, I don't know if I can take ten hours of what seems to be almost exclusively battle footage. I was rendered practically mute by the first half hour of Saving Private Ryan, and I don't think that I can sit through that kind of emotional upheaval every week for the next two months. We'll see. And wow, David Schwimmer's character was a real ass, huh?
Sunday, September 09, 2001
I think we're going to go and look at some houses today. We're trying to find a multi-family house that doesn't need too much work, so that we can collect rent to pay our mortgage for a few years and then move on to a single-family home of our own. Housing in this area is truly insane, though. It's not enough that the prices are crazy; you have to take the taxes into account, as well. For example, the taxes on the house that we're renting now are, and I am not making this up, $13,000 a year. That means that in addition to your (fairly outrageous) mortgage, you have to budget at least another $1,000 a month to cover the taxes. Cripes.
I also desperately need to go to the grocery store. Dave and I have a division of labor around that house that basically says that he never, ever has to go to the grocery store with me. I'm fine with it, mostly because he fails to understand why I need to go up and down every aisle in the store. It's funny. I've always really liked grocery shopping (aside from when I lived in Virginia and the closest store had aisles that were exactly one and one-half carts wide, but anyway, I digress.) I like going to the store, and I don't mind traipsing every aisle. Dave, not so much. He's sort of like the woman in that Circuit City ad -- "Now, we've got a lot to do today, so I need for you to get what you need, and then we'll go."
So Dave told me this morning that he dreamed that we had a child (who had an acorn for a head, mind you) whom I named Napster Ziptik. He was very displeased with me for this in the dream, as I'm sure you can imagine.
I think that the acorn part might have upset *me* a little more, personally. *laugh*
